


Pokémon Sword & Pokémon Shield: Rewritten

by Halcyon_Storm



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions, Pokemon - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:16:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21532831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halcyon_Storm/pseuds/Halcyon_Storm
Summary: The storyline of Pokémon Sword and Shield can roughly be divided into four separate parts: your story in taking on the Gym Challenge and become the Champion, Bede’s character and his progression, Marnie and her relation to Team Yell and the Spikemuth Gym, and the Dynamax/two heroes storyline. I will go over each of these routes, and suggest a way how, in my opinion, they could be improved, while also retaining the core values of a Pokémon game: gameplay is still the main focus, and the story will never be thusly breath-taking that it takes priority over the game itself. Keep this in mind as you read my version of the story.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 52





	1. Storyline one: Bede

Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield: Rewritten

The storyline of Pokémon Sword and Shield can roughly be divided into four separate parts: your story in taking on the Gym Challenge and become the Champion, Bede’s character and his progression, Marnie and her relation to Team Yell and the Spikemuth Gym, and the Dynamax/two heroes storyline. I will go over each of these routes, and suggest a way how, in my opinion, they could be improved, while also retaining the core values of a Pokémon game: gameplay is still the main focus, and the story will never be thusly breath-taking that it takes priority over the game itself. Keep this in mind as you read my version of the story.

Storyline one: Bede

Bede’s character as portrayed in the original game is already pretty good. He was raised as an orphan, and was eventually endorsed by Chairman Rose to take part in the Gym Challenge. He tries his best to please Rose, but messes up when he destroys a mural in Stow-in-Side, and Rose subsequently disqualifies him from taking further part in the Gym Challenge. He feels lost with himself and what he is supposed to do, until Opal notices him and kindly forces him to become the new Fairy type Gym Leader. He reluctantly agrees, and Opal’s training eventually mellows him out a bit, making him a suitable successor to Opal’s position.

From my perspective, it makes far more sense for Bede to be a rival to Hop than to you, the player. Bede was raised an orphan, with little to nothing to call his own. He always wanted to be acknowledged, to be seen as a person of value to others, but as someone without even a single parent to turn to, he always felt unworthy. That is why he dedicated all his time to training Pokémon, battling others, and fighting to become stronger. Every single day he was working on becoming a better trainer, in the hopes of eventually being recognized by someone. And one day, his perseverance actually paid off. Chairman Rose witnessed one of his battles, and saw the raw potential in him. He gave Bede the endorsement to become a Gym Challenger. Bede felt incredibly grateful, and indebted to the Chairman for giving him this opportunity. He promises Rose to make him proud and become the next Champion no matter what.

In the game, Bede is first seen after the Gym Challenge opening ceremony in Motostoke. While you and Hop are still in the lobby, talking about how excited you both are to take part in the challenge, Bede approaches you. He is slightly less smug and cocky, and instead has an aura of pure animosity about him. He tells you to quit your childish laughter, and that neither of you is worthy of taking on the Gym Challenge. He says that if you are wise, you resign now, and leave this opportunity to people who actually deserve to wear the official uniforms. With that he walks off, leaving his exact motives unclear. Hop calls him ‘unpleasant’, but shakes the encounter off quickly, not letting one sour apple soil his excitement.

The next time you find Bede is in the Galar Mine No. 1, where he is looking for Wishing Stars. He is inspecting some rocks when you approach him, and initially, he doesn’t even look up at you. Instead, he simply tells you to move it. However, when he looks at you, his demeanor changes. He slowly walks up to you, saying that he’s disappointed you didn’t take his advice. He says that if you really are that determined, you must prove to him that you are worthy of your spot in the Gym Challenge. He then challenges you to a battle. After beating him, he reluctantly acknowledges your strength. He mumbles to himself that ‘perhaps you really are different from him’. He admits that, at least for the time being, you do seem to be a skilled trainer, and you should challenge the first gym to see how you hold up against an actual Gym Leader.

After beating Milo in the Turffield Stadium, Hop approaches you and congratulates you on beating the Grass type Gym Leader. He then goes on to ask you if you’ve run into that Bede guy lately. You tell him about your encounter in the mine, and Hop replies that he too has had an encounter with him in the same place. However, Bede was able to defeat Hop easily, and he’s been feeling bad ever since. He doesn’t mind being defeated in battle though, he knows that there are many trainers out there stronger than him and that losing is an important part of battling too. It is what he said after the battle that really stuck with Hop. Bede said how he is weak, and only got to be a Gym Challenger because of his brother, Leon. If Hop were any other kid, he would have never gotten an endorsement like that. He questions what it means to have an older brother as a Champion, and if it affects how others see him as someone ‘special’ because of it. After pondering over it for a short while, he comes to the conclusion that if he beats more Gym Leaders, he can prove his strength no matter what his background is.

You briefly encounter Bede again upon reaching Hammerlocke. He greets you at the stairway to the city, still not entirely friendly but at least respectful. Hop, however, he refuses to let through without a battle. Bede says that only if he is able to defeat him in a battle will he let him through to enter the city. You go on ahead, leaving Hop and Bede behind. As Hop later tells you, the battle was very tense, and took a long time. Quite a few spectators stopped to watch and see who would win. Hop eventually lost, but it didn’t really feel like a defeat to him, since the battle was so intense. Because of all the spectators Bede didn’t want to make a scene, so Hop was still able to enter Hammerlocke without winning the battle.

The encounter in Stow-in-Side plays out largely the same as in the original game. Bede uses a Copperajah to destroy an ancient mural in order to acquire more Wishing Stars, Chairman Rose shows up and is shocked to see what he has done, and revokes Bede’s Gym Challenge endorsement. After this scene has ended, Bede approaches you, running wild with emotion. He goes from angry to sad, from mumbling to himself to yelling loudly at you. He says it’s unfair, that he only tried to help the one who gave him everything he has. He hates that he, a hard-working trainer has now lost his place, while the lazy Hop still runs around without a care in the world. You then propose to have Bede settle his emotions in a battle, and you challenge him. After defeating him, he thanks you, and runs off in the direction of the Glimmering Woods.

The Glimmering Woods (in my version of the story) is not just a beautiful illuminated forest, but also a dangerous place filled with ghosts and spirits. Therefore, only trainers with the Stow-in-Side Gym badge are allowed to enter it. When you arrive at the entrance of the woods, a guard tells you that a kid dressed in pink stormed into the forest on his own. He was too fast to catch, so he’s still in there on his own. The guard asks you to go after him, and you’re allowed to enter the woods. Deep into the Glimmering Woods, you find Bede, curled up on the ground. He is glad to see you, and you help him get back on his feet. He says almost his entire team was wiped out by the wild Pokémon here (on account of most of them being Dark and Ghost types). He asks you to walk with him through the forest, and you accompany him all the way to Ballonlea. On the way, in parts, he tells you about his backstory. His youth as an orphan, how he worked hard to get Chairman Rose to recognize his abilities, and how he was finally able to take on the Gym Challenge. He talks about how Rose wants Wishing Stars for some project of his, and that’s why he was digging in the mine and damaging the mural. He never expected Rose to get mad at him over that. Finally, he says how he just can’t accept someone like Hop, who only got to be a Gym Challenger because of his brother. You tell him that isn’t true, and that Leon initially refused to endorse him. It wasn’t until they battled for Leon and Professor Magnolia that Leon had to admit they were both strong enough to take on the challenge. Bede is shocked to hear that, and it makes him rethink his relation to Hop. He confesses that he might have been too aggressive against him, and that if you see Hop any time soon, please tell him he apologizes for what he has done. With that, they arrive in Ballonlea. Bede wishes you good luck in defeating Opal, and leaves with a flying taxi.

The encounter in Hammerlocke after defeating Opal also plays out identical to the original games, except in this version Bede is slightly less reluctant, and more confused about the offer. He still feels defeated after everything that has happened, and goes off with her without much resistance.

Also like in the original games, Bede appears as a surprise challenger in the finals of the Championship Match. He says he has accepted Opal’s offer of becoming her successor, and wants to show himself to the world despite not having a spot in the actual Championship. Leon grants him permission, and you battle him. After defeating him, he hears the crowd cheering for him. He realizes that despite his prior mistakes and misguidances, he still has a chance to redeem himself. He directs himself to the audience, and exclaims that he is the new Fairy type Gym Leader of the Galar region. Anyone who hopes to stand where he stands now will have to make it past him first. After that, Bede disappears, and the actual Championship Match begins. 

Bede makes an additional appearance when the Dynamax storyline reaches its climax. On your way to the energy plant to stop Chairman Rose, you find that the entrance to the Hammerlocke stadium is blocked by two Macro Cosmos guards. They refuse to let the player through, but luckily, Bede and Hop both arrive at the scene just in time. They mention they’ve been caught up to speed on what is going on, and have come to help you. Bede says that he is deeply ashamed that he has helped Rose by gathering the Wishing Stars, not knowing what they were going to be used for. He hopes to atone for his mistakes by assisting you in stopping him now. Bede asks Hop to set aside their difference at least for now, as there are matters of far greater importance at stake. He agrees, and together they challenge the guards to a battle, leaving the path open for you to enter the power plant.


	2. Marnie and Team Yell

While Bede is a more direct rival to Hop, Marnie could be seen as a strong counterpart to you. Both are Gym Challengers who want to get stronger and eventually beat the champion. The main difference here is that while you are pretty much a nobody from a small town with no supporters at first, Marnie has the entirety of Spikemuth behind her, cheering her on in every possible way, even going as far as to sabotage the other Challengers in their path just so Marnie is the sole trainer to succeed. Marnie as a character is portrayed fairly well in the game. She’s a withdrawn, shy girl who would rather not have Team Yell behind her at all times, but still confident and determined to succeed. She’s decently written, although doesn’t get the spotlight as much as she deserves. When you face her in the semi-finals, you still know so little about her, and you’ve only seen her a handful of times. I want to change that a bit, and give her just a bit more attention. However, the biggest changes are those I want to make to Team Yell. While I like the concept a lot, I feel like the execution left a lot to be desired. Here’s how I would change Team Yell’s structure:

What sets Team Yell apart from every other antagonistic organization is their lack of any hierarchy. There are only grunts, no admins, and no leader (unless you want to count Piers as their leader, but he never seems to consider himself as such). I think not having a leader is perfectly fine, and it fits their motives. They aren’t a group led by a single individual, they as a collective group want to bring recognition and respect to Spikemuth and their Gym. But, in order for the ‘evil’ team of a Pokémon game to seem like a serious threat, there needs to be some sort of structure. I would divide Team Yell into two categories. First, there are the Supporters. These are the ‘grunts’ we see in the game now. They are regular residents of Spikemuth who just want to support Marnie. When you encounter them, they’re silly at best, like when they are making a ruckus encouraging a Drednaw or letting a Sandaconda sleep. They are a nuisance to other people, but don’t serve as a threat as much as a minor inconvenience. This is in contrast to the second category: the Admins. These are the Gym Trainers of the Spikemuth Gym, who have taken a more serious approach at supporting Marnie. They act as an organized group, calculating and tactful, as they hinder the other Gym Challengers in order to give Marnie an unfair advantage. Unlike the Supporters, they do serve as a legitimate threat, and feel like a genuine challenge. I will showcase these differences in the encounters I will go over now.

This storyline begins in the Budew Drop Inn, the day before the Gym Challenge ceremony in Motostoke. Here, you encounter Marnie for the first time. She briefly introduces herself, and gives off the appearance of a nice, somewhat shy girl. The conversation you have with her is short, and you quickly go your own ways to rest for tomorrow. The next morning, however, things are different. When you arrive at the lobby together with Hop, the exit of the inn is blocked by two Team Yell Admins. They state that the Gym Challenger ceremony has already started, and anyone not at the stadium already will not be granted permission. Hop panics, thinking that he must have overslept or something. He gets angry at the two, and tries to push his way through. That is when the Admins challenge you each to a one-on-one battle, in an attempt to quiet you down. You defeat them, but they still refuse to leave, until Marnie appears in the lobby. She tells them off, and orders them to let everyone through and stop making a scene. Reluctantly, they obey, and take their leave. Marnie briefly tells you and Hop about Team Yell, a group of overzealous supporters of her who often act like a loud and obnoxious bunch. Together, the three leave for the stadium.

The significance is that unlike other antagonistic teams, here you encounter the Admins before the Supporters. You first get to see their serious, organized side, and only later you see the goofy, all-over-the-place supporters. This establishes that, while the supporters are more common, there still is some threat to their team in the form of the Admins. They also go out of their way to stop you in your tracks before you have ever even interacted with them. This makes it clear that you aren’t just getting in the way of their plans, but that you are the problem itself.

Your next encounters are on Route 5 and in Galar Mine No. 2. These two encounters are identical to their original counterparts. On Route 5, a bunch of Grunts are harassing a man about a bike, and in the mine they are getting in the way of a Carkol at work. In both cases you make quick work of them. Also in Galar Mine No. 2, Kabu shows up and tells them off. The most important part of these encounters is to establish the world of difference between the two types of Team Yell members. Where the Admins are calculated and cunning, the Grunts are clueless and wild.

When arriving in Hammerlocke, the player has the choice of heading either east (toward Circhester and Spikemuth) or west (towards Stow-on-Side and Ballonlea). In the west, there is a brief encounter with another group of Team Yell Grunts telling you that they won’t allow you to disturb a sleeping Silicobra. You fight them, Opal briefly shows up, and you go on your way.

Going east, however, there is an entirely new encounter. Initially, the way north to Route 8 is blocked off by a large group of people. They are talking about how the Route 9 Tunnel is blocked by Team Yell, and so they can’t reach Spikemuth. When you enter the tunnel, you are ambushed by a group of Team Yell Admins. You fight about three of them in a row, and after every battle, they retreat further, until you reach the end of the tunnel. When you’ve defeated all of them, they reveal that they were just stalling for time. They allow you to pass through the tunnel, but when you reach the other side, they have succeeded in putting Spikemuth in lockdown, with no way to enter it. The path north is blocked by water, so you have no choice but to head back. When you return to the other side of the tunnel, you run into Marnie, who was just exiting Hammerlocke. You explain to her the situation, and she mentions that since she’s from Spikemuth herself, she will go and have a look at the situation to see what she can do. By this point, the crowd of people has disappeared, allowing you to pass through to Route 8.

From here on, the Team Yell story plays out similarly to the original games. You encounter a small group of Grunts on Route 9, once again harassing the man with the water bike. When you reach Spikemuth after having defeated the Circhester Gym Leader, Marnie will find you, and guide you into the city through a back-alley passage. From here, you go through the Spikemuth Gym, find out the Team Yell Admins are actually Gym Trainers, and you fight Piers. After the battle, Marnie shows up, and she asks Piers if he put Team Yell up to their antics. He admits he told them to go and support her, but he didn’t know anything about the harassing and the obstruction of other trainers. While they stay behind, you continue on your journey.

The last time she makes an appearance is in the Championship Match. Before the battle, she mentions that if she fails to become the Champion, she will instead become the next Spikemuth Gym Leader. You defeat her, and she leaves. When Leon goes missing and you chase down the Macro Cosmos members in Wyndon, Piers will still assist you around.

The most significant difference between my version and the original is that here, there are no set battles against Marnie throughout the entire story. Unlike Bede, an aggressive rival who pushes himself onto you, and Hop, a passionate friend who wants to measure his own growth as a trainer against yours, Marnie is a lot more laid-back. She doesn’t dislike you by any means, but also doesn’t see you as a direct rival or opponent. While there are no set battles, she does appear at certain points where you are able to battle her. These battles are entirely optional, and can all be skipped. You as the player get to decide how much you want to engage in Marnie’s rivalry. There are optional battles in Motostoke (both before the Gym Challenge opening ceremony and after defeating Kabu), Hammerlocke (after defeating Opal in Ballonlea), Spikemuth (after she leads you into the city) and Wyndon (before initiating the Championship Match). This makes for a total of five potential battles, that if desired could all be skipped.


	3. The main story: Chairman Rose, Dynamax, and the Darkest Day

The main story is easily the most difficult to design and plan out, for obvious reasons. Aside from the Gym Challenge and defeating the regional Champion, this is the thing that will stick with players the most in their experience of the game. It usually involves the box legendaries, the two Pokémon that you see before you even boot up the game. And, while Pokémon storylines tend to be simplistic in nature and largely predictable, they can still be engaging and interesting in their own right. In my opinion, Pokémon Sword and Shield definitely had some interesting concepts lined up for this game’s story. However, the execution just wasn’t there. The story feels flat, unexplored, sometimes flat-out unfinished in parts. In this chapter I will explain how I would revise the main story in Sword and Shield, and in detail explain how this would affect the game.

To start, I actually want to take a look at the post-game first. In particular the characters of Sordwart and Shielbert, two strange-looking individuals who claim to be the true descendants of the two kings who saved Galar from the Darkest Day a long time ago. They go around and wreak havoc in the various Gyms, but are eventually stopped and apprehended by Leon. As post-game exclusive characters, they feel entirely out of place. At this point, you already know that the two heroes were Zacian and Zamazenta, the legendary dogs. They just come off as a duo of fakers who try to get away with a plan so dumb, nobody should realistically fall for it. They would fit a much better role in the main game, when the truth behind the two heroes has yet to be discovered. Then they could serve as a perfect decoy.  
A similar story goes for the surface-level rivalry between Chairman Rose and Champion Leon. As evidenced by their little private conversation atop the Rose Tower, Rose is obsessed with the safety of Galar a thousand years into the future, while Leon is stuck in the present, simply wanting to have the Championship match. These personality traits, especially in Leon’s case, are never brought up again, and that’s a damn shame. Instead of having Leon’s quirky character trait be his awful sense of direction, it would have been much more fitting if he was an awful planner instead. Since he’s so stuck in the here and now, he has no idea what he will do tomorrow, or next week. He doesn’t think about his future, or what would happen if someone were to take his position as the Galar Champion. He simply wants to entertain himself and all the spectators with exciting battles.

Now, from Rose’s perspective, this poses a great problem. He can’t help but worry about the future, even far beyond what he will be alive for. His secretary, Oleana, has done great research into Dynamaxing and the legendary Pokémon Eternatus, and has discovered that the Darkest Day, aka the return of Eternatus, will happen in around a thousand years. If at that time, the region isn’t prepared to deal with Eternatus, the entire region may be destroyed. That’s why Rose starts funding the Gym Challenge and the Championships; an event meant to showcase the very strongest trainers the region has to offer. These are the trainers who could possibly stand up to Eternatus. Of course there’s also Leon, a Champion so powerful he’s considered undefeatable. They may disagree on certain things, but Leon is undeniably the Galar region’s most powerful asset, and Rose needs to keep him on his side. He also endorses Bede; a trainer who from a very young age showed to have great potential. If all else fails, he has faith that Bede could grow to be a most powerful trainer who could save Galar in need.

At first, Rose’s plan is to simply make the Gym Challenge a highly regarded event that could last into the far future, and provide the Galar region with powerful trainers at any time. However, as time goes on, he grows more and more paranoid. He starts fearing that in the upcoming thousand years, someone might put an end to the Gym Challenge, or it might decrease in quality to a point where the trainers might not be able to defeat Eternatus when the next Darkest Day happens. Leon keeps increasing in strength and popularity, and more and more people say that Galar will never see a Champion as powerful as Leon ever again. This is also when Rose meets Sordwart and Shielbert, who claim to be the descendants of the two heroes of ancient legend. They claim that, were Eternatus to return, they could easily dispose of them, just as their ancestors have done before. All these factors combined make it so that Rose decides that the only way to ensure the safety of Galar is to summon the Darkest Day right now. They have all the cards they need, and Rose has faith in the two kings, Leon, and Bede.

The day before the Championship match, Leon is called to the top of Rose Tower to discuss these events. Rose tells him about how he will summon Eternatus tomorrow, and how he expects Leon to be there to stop it in its destructive tracks. Leon desperately tries to change Rose’s mind, but he seems determined to see his plans through to the end. Leon tells Rose that he despises his ideas, and that he is deeply disappointed. Rose replies that it does not matter, since no matter what, Leon will come to defeat Eternatus to protect the people from its rage. After pleading one last time to reconsider, the conversation is interrupted by the player and Hop, and they leave together.

The next day, the Championship match against Leon is interrupted by Rose as in the original game. He apologizes for the inconvenience, but everyone must remain seated in the stadium for the time being. He explains that, for the sake of the future generations, he has released the Darkest Day upon Galar now, but he guarantees that it will not be of any concern to the citizens of the region. The two kings of Galar are present at the scene, and will dispose of Eternatus quickly, so everything can resume as normal. With that, he disappears from the screen, and the first sounds of distant rumbling are heard. The spectators are confused and start to panic, not knowing exactly how to respond to this news. Leon takes you and Hop, and together you go to Hammerlocke to help the situation.  
When you arrive at Hammerlocke, Sonia and Oleana are there as well, struck up in conversation. Oleana explains that Rose ordered her to go up to the castle tower with Sordwart and Shielbert to await the appearance of Eternatus, while Rose would go down to release him from the power plant he was being held in. However, before the beast had even appeared, the two supposed kings had run away, saying this wasn’t what they signed up for. Now the tower is unguarded, but she was ordered not to go down to the power plant under any circumstances. At the same time, Sonia had finally reached a conclusion with her research, it being that the legendary dogs Zacian and Zamazenta were the ones who actually stopped the Darkest Day before. Without them, Eternatus would be unstoppable. She still doesn’t know where the dogs may reside, at least not until Hop mentions that he has actually encountered them with the player before in the Slumbering Weald. Sonia is shocked to hear this, but excited that she has a new lead.

Everyone decides to split up: Leon will go to the top of the tower to expect Eternatus, Hop will join Sonia to the Slumbering Weald to look for the legendary dogs, and you go with Oleana to the entrance of the power plant so she can grant you access to meet Chairman Rose. Oleana once again pleads you to convince Rose to stop his plans right now, for it might mean the end of the Galar region. When you reach the bottom area of the power plant, Rose is moments away from finishing the release of Eternatus. You try to reason with him, but he refuses to listen, and instead challenges you to a battle. When you defeat him, it is already too late, as Eternatus has been released. Now that Rose is willing to hear you out, you explain everything that has happened, which shocks him greatly. He falls down, realizing that what he believed to be a perfect plan was actually doomed to fail from the very beginning. In his state of despair he is unable to stand back up, so you leave him behind as you make your way back up to the tower where Leon should by now be fighting the Pokémon.

Once you arrive, you see Leon on the ground, clearly defeated by the massive Eternatus who has now appeared above the power plant. Leon tells you not even he could stop it, and that there’s nothing that can be done now. For a brief moment you stand and watch as the destructive creature points its attention at you, and Leon yells at you to run away now. At that moment, Hop appears, carrying the rusted sword and shield which he gathered from the Slumbering Weald. He throws one of the items at you, and when Eternatus is about to strike you down, the two items resonate and Zacian and Zamazenta are summoned. As in the games, you defeat and capture Eternatus, and the Darkest Day ends.

After this, things play out as in the original games. Rose turns himself in to the authorities, and Leon has his Championship match with you. The two kings are still on the loose, however, and remain missing for the time being.


End file.
